Hamburger Prostitute

Old men, all of the world, think Im a prostitute. I don't dress prostitutey at all. I guess I give off that prostitute air. I used to be really naive about it. Like when I was in LA I was at the party store with my mom putting stuff (a Hillary Clinton lifesize cut-out for my sister's 16th birthday) in the trunk, and this old Mexican guy drives up. I think he's asking for directions but then he yells at me "TIEMPO?" and points at me and then his passenger's seat. So I'm like what? And I still think he's asking me for directions to "TIEMPO", so I walk over to my mom to tell her to help him and then he drives away. I'm like "Mom, where is Tiempo?" and she's just like "That guy thought you were a prostitute." (Also all my extremities were covered and I was wearing a baggy dress).

So that happened a few times in LA and I sort of became weary of it. Now it happens ALL the time in Montreal. Always on the street I live on. I don't even live in a particularly prostitute addled area. 

Anyway I started thinking about this because I just woke up (extremely hungover) and went to walk to McDonalds and the whole time I was walking there I actually felt like a prostitute. I was wearing this floral print skirt as a strapless dress with no bra and my titties all hanging out, a really ugly jacket I bought at the salvation army (with those bat sleeves from the 80's), and this bag that I found outside of the salvation army that was TOTALLY a dead prostitute's bag. As I walked by the police station I was convinced someone was gonna stop me and be like R U SELLING UR BODY? Then I got to McDonalds and felt even more like a prostitute. Just cause I was at McDonalds. 

ALSO, people order really weird stuff at Mcdonalds. Like two coffees and a fry, or an apple pie and a hot chocolate. Who goes to McDonalds to get that stuff? I WANT A HAMBURGAH.