The night before we left was as Jane recalls, "a symphony of snores", sleeptalking, and sleeping in cigarette butts in the loft.
The drive was nice in Jane's sketchy Corolla, it seemed really short. At one point we found DROWNING POOL on my iPod and started playing it. It was weird because when you're driving on the 5 it's so long and straight so you see all of the cars around you at all times but as soon as Drowning Pool came on this GIANT MONSTERTRUCK came out of nowhere from behind us and was flashing its high beams at us even though we were the only ones on the road and like swooped down and gave us the evil look.
The ghost of Drowning Pool.
So we arrived in San Francisco and we stayed at Desiree's house. She lives with 4 other people and a guy named Ben sleeps in the same room as her.
We put our shit down and somebody decided we were gonna go to Berkeley to go to a rave at a Co-op.
Drove to Berkeley wonderful Prince pussy control drive. Grinding/not grinding with college freshmen. Arun and Jane were trapped on balcony with a blonde titty beast.
Once the cops broke it up we couldn't find Desiree anywhere. So Mike and I were outside, all I remember is Mike saying "I want to spit on you" and then we somehow found our way back into the co-op where we couldn't find Desiree but apparently she was watching some incredible drama involving a hula hoop. We ate at sparkys where Mike tried a banana and peanut butter smoothie and screamed.
Got back to Desiree's, went to sleep, woke up, ate burritos, sat in the park, watched dogs. Mike came over and suggested we go to a BBQ. All went downhill from here...this night was dubbed "Loco Night"
It was a tiny bbq of 10 people. We were there for a couple of hours and then we went to the Hate house, running down the empty streets. At the Hate house there was pissing, puke, lost shoes, etc. Some sort of piss puke friend sandwich. Missed most of it because I found 90s guy. Woke up at his house which was this weird geriatric house in a neighborhood of short houses. He lives with a black nun from the congo.
That's when I realized my wallet was gone and my pills. Somebody took my fucking medication from my pill box and put my pill box back.
So I went back to Desirees and started calling the credit card companies. But my brain was so unclear there were so many numbers I had no idea what was going on. Then I find out that this asshole has used my card at a movie theater for $40 and has tried to buy iPods and gift cards from the Apple store for hundreds of dollars. Filed a police report with hermaphroditic cops.
Sat in Alamo park with Mike, Kayla, and Alex where we met a really Irish man who wouldn't stop talking. Saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D at the Castro Theater, bald wonderful organ player rising from the ground. Sat next to a really awesome one man band, but apparently I was stealing a hobos POSITION.
Next day called the Apple store where they told me that they had already flagged the order made by that douche because it seemed suspicious and told me that this person has done it before.
So I went to the police station where I found my savior of the trip...Inspector Danker. He was this really awesome older guy who flashed me his SAG card. He works as a cop extra, "SF Cop #2," and as a real cop/inspector. He took me, Arun, and Jane back to his "office" and I had a taped interview and he told us stories about his kids and whatever. I was in heaven/48 Hours Hard Evidence.
The rest of the day we ended up driving in a thousand circles trying to find Desiree after work, then another 4 sketchy hours of waiting around in the mission for acid (not for me). Arun got pulled over. Drank on the roof.
Next day had most epic lunch with Desiree. Guy from Gravy Train was our waiter and took pity on me and gave us strooong bloody marys. Beautiful womanly conversations with Desiree.
Drunkenly walked into Out of the Closet and bought gross jelly shoes.
Said goodbyes.
Drove home.
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