Honey-crab Guatemalan Fried Chicken

NO ONE wants to read about how bored someone else is. But whatever. I am so genuinely bored.  Not just right now- but in general. 

I'm lying here in a pile of magazines and instruments, eating entire cucumbers and chain smoking in bed. I have no job- and it's nearly impossible to get a job here if you aren't fluent in French. Unless I want to work at a call center and kill myself. 

It's so hard to go outside at -30 degrees, and guess what? The groundhogs say we are in for six more weeks of winter. 

My little sister called me last night and said, "I heard you are bored." I'm glad news is a'travelin. She's so adorable though. Then she goes, "Get a pen and a piece of paper." I am eating handfuls of cereal and say "OK." She says, "No really! Get a piece of paper." So I got a piece of paper and she says: "I want you to go to the bookstore and buy Demian by Herman Hesse and Leaves of Grass by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Then go to the grocery store and buy those giant pasta shells and find the weirdest combination to stuff it with- like crab and honey. Then go to a cheap store and buy the marshmallowiest socks you can find. Go home, make the pasta, put on the socks, put on some Philip Glass, light some candles and read for five days."

Dang girl. That's a lot to ask from the laziest bitch in town. 

Oof. I'm being a huge bitch to everyone. I don't mean to, but I'm so fed up. I don't know how to meet people. I don't understand at the beginning of classes how everyone is chatting. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW EACH OTHER? Dumb bitches. I can never meet people at school or normal places. Only in public bathrooms, dollar stores, and maybe sometimes a bar.

I went to this bar on Saturday with my friend Emily. It was so damn crowded and I ended up losing her. I went outside to smoke and maybe see if she'd come out. But all I found were dirty old men. A 600 pound 48 year old hillbilly who was completely bald except for a dangling rat's tail saw me and went "Oh my god...WHERE DID YOU GET THAT SMILE?" and tried to kiss my hand. Then a 60 year old Guatemalan. 

Meanwhile, I found out later, my friend was making out with some hot French guy in his car. 

I'm so lucky. 

Sometimes I just want to eat fried chicken until the cows come home.