Jurassic Sperm Rain

I'm in LA. Yesterday was the best/worst day.

Mara and I spent the day together. Got Korean food, bought a sperm nose ring. Later 7 of us got together and went to a party at the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Mini trailer parks, butterfly scale art, free wine, an accordion band, etc. 

Then we went back to my house. It was pouring rain. Had an amazing harmonized basement sing-a-long, went in the hot tub. The hot tub in the rain is such heaven. SUCH HEAVEN. I was pretty drunk though and realized how easy it would be to fall asleep and die in a hot tub. Fell on a tile floor in wet unitard. Then a couple of us went down the hill to buy cigarettes. We were listening to some swing music really loudly with the windows down when we were outside my house. We were dancing in the car for one song and went back inside.

This song woke up my sister who was SO ANGRY. Because my sister woke up my mom woke up and got SO ANGRY. She came downstairs, looked me square in the eye and said "YOU'RE DISGUSTING." Meanwhile my dad was really drunk in his chair in front of the TV so when my mom came down and found both my dad and I drunk she lost it. But the funniest part of this is that both my dad and I were drunk and my mom was fucked on ambien so all this yelling we were doing was slow-motion elephant noises going YOUUUUURE DIIISGUUUUUUSTIIING...I HAAAAATE YOUUUUUU. 

The other great thing about this is that according to my sister this morning, she was SCARED of the car outside because she thought it was a neighbor doing drugs coming to kill her. She also told me she was only angry because she didn't want to be tired for the rain the next day (it's going to be raining all week). WHAT THE HELL. All of this happened because she didn't want to be tired for rain. Who am I. 

And my friend Arun's brother works for Dr Phil and IM GOING TO BE FRONT ROW in the Dr Phil studio audience tomorrow. ahahahahasidfuasiouiowerwea. Anyone who knows me at all knows I have an obsession. I need to bring a bucket o' tears.